I have been lacking in my hate for Fredbird, mainly cause my lose for baseball has shielded me from disgust. With Pitchers and Catchers reporting all across Arizona and Florida, my blood began to boil. Maybe it was the fact I have been watching a lot of baseball highlights over the past few weeks. Maybe it was because I started to review mascots stats for stories that I will be releasing in March, but it hit me: YOU CAN'T TRUST FREDBIRD.
This isn't some propaganda I am trying to throw at you. But hFredBird's actual throwing stat says "Everything."
(Great photoshop by me)
I'm no psychiatrist, but if you can't trust a mascot, who can you trust? It goes Dog, Blogs that write about video games and mascots ad actual mascots. All three of those are sacred.
Now, I am not a man of wealth but I have a Waterford Crystal in my possession. Why? Because my grandparents had a large collection and made me and all my cousins sign up for what we wanted before they passed away. They are still alive, but I am now reaping the benefits of saying I own a Waterford Crystal.
Why does it matter today though? Well, if I invited FredBird over- which I would never do, but this a fun game- and I left him alone in a room with a TV, a bunch of books and my waterford crystal, wouldn't he naturally try to throw them all?
Some may say I am looking too much into this, but stats are stats. You can't tell me Babe Ruth sucked after looking at his stats. You can't say Pedor Martinez wasn't one of the most dominant pitchers after looking at his stats. Baseball arguments are built on stats, and this mascot throws everything.
It makes me SICK to look at pictures of him holding babies or dogs knowing in his mind he wants to throw them.
You are a sick, sick man Fredbird.
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