I'm a Clark the Cub guy, through and through. I don't mess around with my mascot love. So FBF, formally known as Flashback Friday for the Millenial crowd, will now be known as Fredbird Friday where I let people know just how much I hate this stupid bird and his terrible dancing that takes place in St.Louis.
FBF Issue #1- He gets away with too much
Back in the winter of 2014, the Chicago Cubs announced that a new member was joining the team that had failed to win a World Series in 100 plus years. He wasn't going to be the most talented player to dawn the uniform, or even the most likable, but he was going to be there through thick and thin with a full no trade clause. His name was Clark, and he took the number 1.
Did I like him at first? Nope. Not one bit. I was working in a cubical in Naperville a year after college and my favorite team sucked; there wasn't a ton of things I was going to like at that time. And how did they try to make me feel better? They got a mascot.
Much like my feelings on Fan-Cams, I did not like mascots at that time.
However, like any good baseball fan, I did a little bit of research into Clark- his history, his stars, basically whatever the internet could provide me- and I convinced myself he would turn things around. He was going to change the clubhouse, and make sure that Wrigley Field saw brighter days.
Most people didn't dive in deep to his analytics like me though. They were basically the scouts in Moneyball, judging him by his look.
He looked scared. Not too sure of himself. Oh and he also didn't wear pants.
People brought up the pants thing like it was the biggest scandal in the world. No Pants? THE CUBS ARE MONSTERS.
He looked scared. Not too sure of himself. Oh and he also didn't wear pants.
People brought up the pants thing like it was the biggest scandal in the world. No Pants? THE CUBS ARE MONSTERS.
You know who else doesn't wear pants? Fredbird! But he keeps on keepin on at Busch Stadium. People even make their own Fredbird at the Build-a-bear in the stadium!
People are all of a sudden so anti-anti-pants? Blasphemy.
This bird struts his stuff with no slacks and a jersey and people are willing to let it fly- great bird pun.
Also, is anyone going to talk about how he tried to kill me? This dude is basically OJ at this point, MINUS THE PANTS. At least OJ wears a pear of slacks when he POSSIBLY murders someone.
Look, I have no problem with no wearing pants. And we all know mascots, much like athletes, politicians and movie stars, run on their own separate rules. But FBF is here to expose the man behind the suit. To let people know that FredBird ain't all that hot.
This bird doesn't fly with me!
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