It's a Rough Day in the #WorldofMascots

As the internet's self-appointed mascot spokesperson, I would like to comment on a photo going around of one Geoffery the Giraffe.

As many of you know, Toys R Us officially closed the door to all their stores this year. Yes, the place that once told me that they did not have any more Wii's left in stock somehow closed down. But, that is not the point. Today, Geoffery the Giraffe, whom (no idea if that is the correct usage) served as the face of the company, wished us all one more farewell before he was forced into retirement.

Now, legally I cannot talk to Geoffery because he is a giraffe, and giraffes don't talk. But I feel he wants everyone to know he loves them and thanks them for the years of support. Of course he is rocking his retirement Hawaiian shirt, letting people know he is heading to his town home in Florida to share stories and dad jokes to all whom (is this one correct? Jesus. Elementary school taught me nothing) will listen. His suitcase, filled with memories and quite possibly the largest selection of WWE action figures this side of the Mississippi, is all he has left from years of hard work. The least the company could have done was get him a gold watch.

It's tough to see someone you respect so much have to retire in disgrace. But, as the World of Mascots takes one on the chin today, lets not forget the true enemy in all of this: Fred Bird.

I don't know how he did it, but he single handedly ruined Toys R Us to try and rid the world of Mascots. You selfish bird.


R.I.P GtG.