It's my "hot dogs used to cost a nickel" moment that hit yesterday.
The Chicago Cubs twitter has been doing superlatives for the each of their players this offseason, calling on the fans for "funny" suggestions. They will then pick their four favorites and put them to a fan vote.
I have not submitted any ideas until yesterday when Ben Zobrist was the Cubs "Subject of the Day. "
If you don't know, Zobrist is one of the older members of the team, a family guy, his wife is a christian singer- so a pretty squeaky clean image for the 2016 World Series MVP. My idea was to poke fun at that persona that he displays in the public.
Pretty to the point. I should have said, "Most Likely to Remind The Teacher They Forgot to Assign Homework." But whatever; you win some, you lose some.
A few hours passed with random notifications trickling in from strangers liking it. I'm not going to lie, I scrolled through the mentions to see how mine stacked up against other superlatives and I was up there in terms of likes. Completely bias opinion, mine was the best that didn't include a gif.
Quick side note: a lot of the suggestions weren't that creative. One of the most favorited was "Most Likely to Change the Bryzzo Co. to BryzzoBRIST"- with a GIF from the famous commercial where he LITERALLY did that. He isn't likely to do that, he did that. I guess know your audience, but at least mine was a little outside the box.
Anyway, while I was at the gym- I work out- I received another notification informing me someone responded to my tweet.
Oversight on my part because the orange slice thing literally happened.
While I will reference shitty pop culture/ cubs history a lot, I was furious this guy took a shot at me. I pumped some iron (aka ran on the elliptical) thinking of how to respond to this new enemy and came at him soft.
My hope was that he would start to debate me and we could go at it. He would say "That is Dumb" i would make another terrible joke. And it would end with one of us blocking each other.
But nothing happened. No response. Nothing.
This man picked up his stuff and left it at that. I guess he won because I did not receive anymore likes, and I do not think I made the final cut for the fan vote. What I was hoping though was this could be an early 2010's fight.
I have gone to war with Cubs twitter before, when they thought I was supprting the Cardinals when I was in fact being self deprecating. I argued over mentions with Illinois Basketball Hero Tyler Griffey over me saying he couldn't read. I even went back and forth with a former roommate over him trashing our apartment. These are moments that make twitter great and I feel like, for the most part, people are avoiding them.
I think this may be why twitter stock took a hit. I have seen Wolf of Wall street plenty of times, so I know how the Stock Market works. Twitter Wars and Jonah Hill getting naked at a party is what that company needs to sky rocket and make a profit. That idea is trademarked.
If you would you would like to engage in a twitter war, feel free to tweet at me @kylemi99. Hopefully, we can make Twitter Wars Fun Again.
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